Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she peed on how many people?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
