There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
