Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
