Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Is Oprah even human
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
