I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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