No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
