I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
