Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
