I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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