So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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