every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
