I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
