He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
