people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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