I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
