i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It's official drugs can't kill me
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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