You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
