I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
