Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

I only kidnapped one of them. chill

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(205): I only kidnapped one of them. chill http://tfl.nu/ogw5

Replies (10) Good night (2952) Bad night (673)
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(904): View more from Florida

I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.

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(904): I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything. http://tfl.nu/zym5

Replies (71) Good night (706) Bad night (2830)
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(916): View more from California

and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse

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(916): and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse http://tfl.nu/0v20

Replies (12) Good night (4744) Bad night (1185)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I just saw the nastiest chick.

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

Where?

(603): View more from New Hampshire

woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you

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(603): I just saw the nastiest chick. (1-603): Where? (603): woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you http://tfl.nu/hbsk

Replies (43) Good night (1293) Bad night (8269)
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(515): View more from Iowa

So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.

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(515): So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry. http://tfl.nu/0btw

Replies (13) Good night (8744) Bad night (1052)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.

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(+44): she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together. http://tfl.nu/1f9e

Replies (2) Good night (2937) Bad night (1187)
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(407): View more from Florida

I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.

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(407): I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor. http://tfl.nu/1ho2

Replies (4) Good night (3146) Bad night (1057)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.

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(717): She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/4m88

Replies (7) Good night (2630) Bad night (880)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.

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(614): I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing. http://tfl.nu/nz2e

Replies (11) Good night (1130) Bad night (1478)
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(845): View more from New York

I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.

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(845): I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break. http://tfl.nu/bwgw

Replies (4) Good night (1716) Bad night (593)
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(772): View more from Florida

I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..

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(772): I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all.. http://tfl.nu/gmlb

Replies (9) Good night (721) Bad night (1792)
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(281): View more from Texas

Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.

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(281): Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me. http://tfl.nu/lutc

Replies (11) Good night (514) Bad night (1562)
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(+61): View more from Australia

Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?

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(+61): Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok? http://tfl.nu/xxuu

Replies (3) Good night (354) Bad night (208)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.

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(+44): He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up. http://tfl.nu/t0cr

Replies (1) Good night (1621) Bad night (254)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.

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(+44): Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement. http://tfl.nu/yfve

Replies (8) Good night (1105) Bad night (233)

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