i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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