Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice