Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket http://tfl.nu/8xo3
  Replies (11) Good night (3914) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out. http://tfl.nu/f1nl
  Replies (43) Good night (17297) Bad night (1617)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets http://tfl.nu/sjge
  Replies (17) Good night (5119) Bad night (1781)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now. http://tfl.nu/xddc
  Replies (17) Good night (11777) Bad night (1230)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive. http://tfl.nu/xg7u
  Replies (4) Good night (2664) Bad night (1491)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house. http://tfl.nu/ztm5
  Replies (9) Good night (3479) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3 http://tfl.nu/b5wj
  Replies (7) Good night (3409) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate. http://tfl.nu/8ri3
  Replies (6) Good night (1041) Bad night (2092)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is http://tfl.nu/j324
  Replies (2) Good night (621) Bad night (1775)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Sobriety and mild self-respect

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs? (828): Sobriety and mild self-respect http://tfl.nu/8vbm
  Replies (5) Good night (1541) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough? http://tfl.nu/nifs
  Replies (21) Good night (1483) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY! http://tfl.nu/cmgh
  Replies (17) Good night (2894) Bad night (903)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone. http://tfl.nu/ncer
  Replies (4) Good night (368) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again. http://tfl.nu/2qb3
  Replies (4) Good night (373) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea... http://tfl.nu/smy0
  Replies (0) Good night (345) Bad night (146)

Randomize