We're facebook friends in real life
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.