My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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