My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
