Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
