I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
