K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
