Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
