I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
