I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
