I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
