My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
