my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
