I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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