she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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