I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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