So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
