We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
