so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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