Me. At least after what I've been through.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
