so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Who died my cat blue again?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
