Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
