he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
