What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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