bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I am naked and annoyed.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
