But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
