I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
