Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
