im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Success! We fucked roommates!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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