everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
