How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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