Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
