ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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