As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
