Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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