I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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