I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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