I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
