also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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