Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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