garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Randomize
