if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
wakey wakey hands off snakey
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
