he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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