Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
