so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
