Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Boobs speak an international language.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
