I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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